Monday, June 11, 2007

Fired

I was almost fired today morning , exactly at 11:15 AM.

It all started with a bang . I was pestering my boss about doing some work that he was supposed to do some one week back and the HR lady walks in. She looks at me and at my boss and then asks me gravely .

"Can I talk to him for two minutes?"

Oh Yes , I walked out . Wondering what is so serious . I always loved secrets as long as it did not belong to me and belonged to others and secrets became even more interesting when others didn't want you to know about it because it evokes the detective or paparazzi in you . Usually I make sure that no stone is unturned in knowing the secret of others. Secretly I wanted to install a bug when any secret conversation is going on so that I will hear their talk in my mobile and unknown people will think that I am a guy who is listening attentively to his girl friend.


However this seemed different and after two minutes both of them stared at me and my boss looked at me gravely . My boss has a surprised and shocked expression on his face and HR lady didn't smile back when I smiled at her.

After some time the HR lady came to my cabin with a grim face.

NC , There is a small issue . CEO wants to speak to you. Can you please come with me?

Now , I am wondering what exactly is the problem she is referring to because I am in the middle of so many professional and personal problems.

We went the room of our CEO . My Boss was there with him .

I just looked around and there was lot of tension in the air . I could see a battle lying ahead from the body language of the people in the room.My Boss , looked at me gravely and the big man had as always a no nonsense expression.

I stared back at them innocently giving them one of my sweetest innocent faces.

He looked at me and said . " One of the female employees have complained against you"

What ?

Yes , One of our female employees complained against you and the compliant is serious this time . We were getting quite a lot of complaint against you.

I started thinking . I was always a decent guy who never engaged in any faltu - besharam activities but I have made sure that I was extra decent after I joined this company . I ha vent even taken any gal out on a date for the last three months after I changed my flirting policy . What is happening to this world ? How will poor guys like me survive ? Bachelors God , Are you seeing this!

Can it be X ? No way , She never knew that I had a crush on her . Can it be Y ? Nopez , I have always ignored her signals and smiles . Now It can be Z? Yes she was always snooping around whenever I was doing something in my system. It can be that external PR gal also who was nice to flirt with . But what about , that sales gal who was extra sweet to me last week and asked what will I be doing in the weekend.She could have complained because I evaded her question asking her about the sales targets. Hmm , but it can be Z also who invited me to her lunch group. It can even be the HR lady. I called her @$@##$ sometime when she didn't give me a certificate for a loan , may be she would have overheard it and is taking her revenge. It can be even Sudha , who can complain now that intentionally I called her as Soda.

I tried being very cheerful and even flashed one of my special faces at our HR lady who was standing near me . This smile has been a sure shot assured-smile-in-return-guarantee-trademarked until now from any girl born in this world . But nope! She still had that stone face that was there when she talked to my boss initially. Either she is someway related to Amrish Puri who never smiled in any of his movies or she is the Indian grand daughter of Sylvester Stallone who always had the same expression irrespective of all his roles whether he was Rocky or Rambo.

Oh yeah, Whatever . When is the next flight to Kerala ? I am going to start something on my own and is not going to recruit any females.

No way , they are slowly watching my expression and I am not giving away and there is something fishy out here . Suddenly the faces changed . My boss started grinning , the HR lady started laughing and CEO smiled.

NC , We are giving you ESOPS. You are a part of the employee stock option Plan from today . Please sign on this and give back to me
.

I looked back at them with the same look that Amrish Puri had in Chachi 420 when he realised Chachi was a man not a woman.

Hmmm, pretty nice way to say that you are a .00001% owner of a company.

Oopz! Now this is a nice feeling .

+++++++++++++

25 comments:

Attribution said...

I thought it was fired by Soda urf Sudha!

Ajith said...

"Can it be X ? No way , She never knew that I had a crush on her . Can it be Y ? Nopez , I have always ignored her signals and smiles . Now It can be Z? Yes she was always snooping around whenever I was doing something in my system. It can be that external PR gal also who was nice to flirt with . But what about , that sales gal who was extra sweet to me last week and asked what will I be doing in the weekend " --- Seems u r really surrounded by many interesting characters :D ( Ps..Any vacancies there ?? )

Neihal said...

Wah Wah !!

rich richer....ha the life :P

Jo said...

That must have been a real shocking surprise! :-))

Umesh said...

Your story reminded me of the scene from the malayalam movie 'Midhunam' where srinivasan tries to tell mohanlal that he "touched" her sister but then changes it to "vandeede fan belt potteetillayirunnu". I could imagine your face like Mohanlal's relieved face and the way he says "Nee veruthe manushyane tension adipikkalaaaaae".

oh btw i understand that you are surrounded by a lot of XYZs. Either you are a super stud or there are no good men in your office. Is there a designer vacancy?

Nariyal Chutney said...

@ attribution : :) , No that was too much of a small reasong to fire :P

@ajith : All these characters are in all offices , you have to just keep your eyes and ears open :D

@neihal: Yupz , But not soon , usually for ESOPS you ahve to stay with teh company to redeem it :D

@jo: :) , You bet . But I felt a fish somewhere since I was a decent guy ::D

@umesh:Moi a poor guy and not @ all a stud , see decent people cant survive in this world . Hope Lavina reads this . I will email her your comment :D

mortalez said...

Sorry to hear you were fired, and when women were fighting for equal rights they said they would not disrupt the workplace guess they were wrong.

Sindhu said...

Oh!

And I thought you had some sense of humor to be writing this after you got fired

:D :D

BTW...congrats...whatever the %age...u are owner, right? :D :D :P

chitra said...

congrats!

It is heartening to read that corporates have time to play pranks!!

Seema said...

U knw I read till the end expecting ul get fired a sentence later and on n on lollll...dont kill me !!

Office set up - Adipoli !!!

Congratulations on the ESOP...hope those zero's get transferred to the other side of 1 SOON !!!

gopalwithlove said...

it's funny to imagine your expression during the prank played by your manager et al.

;-)

congrats!

gopalwithlove said...

it's really to imagine your expressions during the prank played by your manager et al.

;-)

congratulations!

mathew said...

was funny the way you put up this....and a big congrats!!

should have got the conversation video taped!! ;-P

Melody said...

..er... so why do you need stock options if they fired you...?

;)

Brilliantly funny. Now I know why you want to get your hands on my presentation.

Raghu Ram Prasad said...

what a funny incident......i want one Nimelet soda.....You don't fire on me...

Pradeep said...

Good one.... It must be indeed be a great feeling!

Craze Maze said...

Should have been a real surprise.. Loved the Amrish Puri comparison :)

Beena said...

Hahaha...so ur one movie buff...good analogy...!!

Saritha Rajagopal said...

Hi NC,

Visited ur blog for the first time. Found this particular post very funny! Wus smiling all the way. :)

Could actually see your expressions when you compared them with Amrish Puri and all.

But all's well that ends well right? ;)

So congrats!

Saritha Rajagopal said...

Hi NC,

Visited ur blog for the first time. Found this particular post very funny! Wus smiling all the way. :)

Could actually see your expressions when you compared them with Amrish Puri and all.

But all's well that ends well right? ;)

So congrats!

Amooma said...

man! that was scary!
was awaiting ur declaration....' i was fired!' and it never came.
that was a thriller. until the last part when relief and laughter fight each other. and laughter wins out.

Nariyal Chutney said...

@ sindhu: Hmm :P , I may get fired at this rate really soon :). The other things you had asked for is truly confidential since i am an .ooox%age owner :P.

@chitra : You bet , wish they worked to make more money for the company instead of playing pranks :).

@seema:Congrats on your ESOPs too . The chnace of zeroes shifting to other side looks remote at this stage :). But I will try for that :P

@gopal:Hmm, thanks :). Not funny to experience :)

@mathew: You bet and uploaded it in Youtube , so that theyw ill fire me immediately in real sense :D

@melody:Seriously , None of the gals in My Office Blog . The presnetation was not for them :).

@Rrprasad: Not so funny to experience as I said:).

@pradeep:Yupz , to get shares was a nice feeling

@crazemaze:Amrish Puri was a nice villian , but dont u think S Stallone was better :).

@beena:Yupz , Me a great movie buff :).

@sarita : Welcome home :) . You bet as long as it ends everything is well :P

@amooma:Welcome back :). Yupz , I was also smiling at the end of it :P

Ginger Girl said...

hahaha..cool stuff.
I can imagine the shock

wanderlust said...

Congrats!!
You seem to have too many ladies around you. Now that you are one of the "owners", have the time of your life with them !!

Nariyal Chutney said...

@ inji Pennu :) . But not experience it :p

@wabderlust : Dude , I am not wandering in office with lust :P

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